I think that our self-esteem is the foundation that sustains our home. If the house is built on muddy terrain, if it’s missing beams, if it is not solid – a small blow will begin to make it falter and fall down regardless of the number of floors that have been built above.
So, let’s put on our tool belt and get to work building our children’s self-esteem!
6 Pieces of Advice to Boost Our Child’s Self-Esteem
1. Teach them to live
A family is the first ‘life school’ that a child receives. Remember that there are imperfections in learning and forget about the ”Perfect Parents” idea, because in reality, this doesn’t exist. What does exist are parents that are role models, with virtues and flaws that they know about and recognize. Parents that set an example and look for the best for their children, give them attention, and teach them healthy habits, like diet and exercise, among other things.
2. Mom’s and Dad’s need to be careful!
When our little ones are born our whole world goes into another dimension and we are no longer worried about our physical and mental health. We unconsciously release negative energy by way of nerves, stress, and bad moods that our children pick up on. It’s important to remember that 70% of communication is non-verbal.
3. Challenge them with new goals
It is important to look for a balance between the new objective and their maturity. These experiences should be ambitious and require a pinch of personal improvement. The problem with crossing the fine line into ”superhero challenges” is that the results will be counterproductive.
My challenge of the day is…
A healthy way to start the day is to give your little one a goal to reflect on, and meet, for the day. How do we do it?
- Take 5 minutes before they go to school.
- Get their agenda and write a goal for them – ‘I’m going to pay attention in math class,’ ‘I’m going to share my snack with a friend,’ ‘I’m going to say hello to the baker,’ etc.
- At the end of the day, talk with them about if they have completed this goal and if not have them think, how can I achieve this challenge?
4. Positive mind
A punishment-based education only clips the wings of our children and makes them fear making mistakes and ”not being perfect.” Be conscious of your wording and how you speak. Pay attention to all the good things that your child does. Use the ”sandwich technique” if you want to change behaviors and praise every step they make along the way.
5. Share time
Find time in your busy schedule to give your child a bit of ”quality time.” I’ll say it again, quality. Take a break from technology (phones, television, video games, etc.) and exchange them for table games or walks in the park. Ask them about their day and tell them about yours (sometimes we forget to talk about our life). Take advantage of that ”1 to 1” time and talk to them about their emotions and feelings too.
6. Our vocabulary
It forms our personality and self-esteem. Our mind is molded by the things we tell ourselves. Teach your child to describe their reality:
- It is different to ‘do poorly on a math exam’ and ‘to be a bad student.’ Our mind has the tendency to make generalizations about the smallest failures.
- The verb ‘BE’ is different than ‘HAVE’, on occasion we try to fill the void of ‘being’ with ‘having’ material things.
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